dad

My dad is a creature of habit. He eats noodles for breakfast every day. When I was at school, he would call to check on me on my lunch break at the same time without fail. I used to find that annoying and think he’s overprotective. Mum once said if one day he doesn't call I would miss it. I just shrugged at her then.

Don’t get me wrong, I have an amazing bond with my dad. When I was in primary school, my first writing piece that got the best grade and was read in front of the whole class, was about my dad. Mum was quite jealous about it still. I have always loved him and felt cared for by him. But I never admired him. As bad as it sounds, I often got embarrassed about him. Even in my highly-praised piece of writing back in the day, I wrote, "my dad is not a successful doctor or businessman like other dads." He was not my role model growing up.

He calls me every Sunday now. Because of the time difference and now that I'm working, we only get to catch up over facetime once a week. Even then, sometimes when I'm in the middle of a movie or something, I would ignore his call. Even if the thing that I'm doing can wait. I never prioritised talking to my dad. I had always taken him and his love for me for granted.

Yesterday, as per his routine, he called me. I was in the middle of my Korean drama binge-watch so I tried to ignore it. After a few rings, I finally decided to pause the show and picked up the phone. We talked about all the usual things. How my weekend had been. What I had for dinner. He updated me on my grandma and my uncle's family because they recently contracted Covid.

Initially, I just wanted to quickly finish the conversation so I could go back to my tv show. But something inside urged me to stay with him and be patient. Mum was busy with something else and my brother didn't stop by today, so I realised it was just him in the house, possibly lonely and wanted to talk to someone. So I stayed. I asked him what he's been reading recently. As he told me about the recent book he read, I could see his eyes brighten up. I don’t remember ever asking what he’s interested in before. Then he told me he felt restless ever since he stopped working so he's been trying to do some exercises at home. He didn’t want to be idled and depressed. That was the first time I felt like I understood his feelings.

It's fascinating to get to know him as a human being instead of my dad. A human being with flaws and imperfections but is always full of love and patience for his family. And I remember the ending to my piece of writing which goes like this, "my dad is not a successful doctor or businessman like other dads; but he's still the best dad that I could ever wish for."

It still rings true today. But from now on, I'm excited to get to know him more as a person with feelings and aspirations. Not just a dad that always seemed to fall short in my memory.

Pictured is him all happy after giving my mum a red pocket. This man is definitely a giver.